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Are You An Table Tennis Equipment Junkie? The Top Ten (or so) Warning Signs

Are You Addicted to Ping-Pong Purchasing?

By

Photo of Bats and Bag

How Many Bats in Your Bag?

© 2007 Greg Letts, licensed to About.com, Inc.
Gotta have it! I think we all know someone who always has the latest bleeding-edge technology in his computer, or who has a garage full of near-new power tools, all sitting there untouched.

Well, ping-pong players are not immune from the 'more power' syndrome either - although we call sufferers from this disease 'Equipment Junkies', or 'EJ's' for short. And if you think this is a weird name, just ask yourself why we call the sellers of ping-pong equipment dealers?!

While it is easy to spot other equipment junkies among your fellow table tennis players, it's not always so easy to tell if you are afflicted. So here are some tell-tale warning signs that you might be a fully fledged EJ. If you answer 'Yes' to 5 or more of these questions, hand over your credit cards to your spouse and seek professional treatment!

Top Signs That You Are An Equipment Junkie

Rubbers
  • Do table tennis manufacturers use your speed/spin/control rating charts for rubbers?
  • When you play a tournament, is there is a crowd following you around, waiting to get the latest rubbers you have just tried and are about to throw away?
  • Do you think that the 'God Favored' rubbers are rubbers endorsed by you?
  • Do you have more rubber in your bag than a tire factory?
Blades
  • Have you got more table tennis blades in your bag than the number of tennis rackets Roger Federer carries on court during a Grand Slam?
  • Does Don Iguana refer other people to you for information about blades?
Balls
  • Can you can pick the difference between a DHS training ball and a Nittaku Premium 3 star ball just by listening to it bounce on the table with your eyes shut?
  • Can you reach into your bag full of all different types of balls, and pull out your favorite Stiga Optimum ball just by feel?
Clothes
  • Do you own more table tennis shirts than work shirts?
  • Do the birds in your neighborhood wear sunglasses when you put out your washing after a tournament?
Shoes
  • Do you have more table tennis shoes than Imelda Marcos had high heels? (Or Paris Hilton for younger readers!)
Glue
  • Have the ITTF ever got you to fill in when their illegal solvent sniffing machine breaks down?
  • Do you buy your speed glue in the 5 gallon super economy size?
  • Do you find that it is still only a month before you run out of glue?
Catalogs
  • Can you quote word for word from the latest Butterfly catalog?
  • Can you still do this for the Japanese version?
Table Tennis Forums
  • Do you only go to table tennis forums to read the equipment folders?
  • Do other people go there just to ask you questions about the latest equipment?
  • Have they set up a folder on the forum just for you to sell your second hand equipment?
Miscellaneous
  • When you read on a ping-pong forum about a new rubber, do you automatically reach for your wallet? (This is called the 'Pavlovian Ping-Pong Programmed Response')
  • Do you have a VIP membership to all the distributors websites?
  • Do you have a Stiga credit card instead of a Visa?
Automatic Confirmation of Equipment Junkie Status
If you answer 'Yes' to the question below, consider yourself to have a terminal case of 'equipment junkitis'!
  • Have you have spent many thousands of dollars on equipment, but refuse to pay $30 per hour for lessons on how to actually use it properly?
Warning Signs for Table Tennis Packaging
In Australia, cigarette packets carry warning signs to deter smokers - such as "Warning: Smoking Causes Heart Disease". Here are the Table Tennis Equipment Junkie equivalents:
  • New Rubbers - Just Say No
  • Warning: Excessive Buying of Table Tennis Blades Can Cause Your Wallet to Shrink
  • Addicted to Buying Equipment? Get Help at www.colestt.com
  • Warning: Speed Glue Will Wear Your Rubber Out Faster

Suggestions From Forum Members

Marcohere
  • Warning: an EJ habit is extremely harmful to your wallet... (and doesn't actually increase rating).

    vanjr

    • You have a separate post office box so that you can hide your addiction from your spouse.
    • You just can't decide if you should go with the the 0.6 mm medium soft sponge under your long pips or the 0.8 mm medium soft... so you order both thicknesses at both densities.
    • You keep the number of hours you play with each rubber logged on your PDA, the date you started playing with it and evaluations of your thoughts on it.
    • You know the difference of Saviga vs. Saviga V, 563 vs 563-1 and know that there is no way you'll ever know which 999 is which.
    • You know why its called 729.
    • You collect table tennis balls from each dealer. In both colors.
    • You own a REAL national version of Double Happiness H3
    • You have this web page on your favorite bookmarks. And commonly read it and argue about it with your EJ friends.
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